What Are Some Limiting Beliefs About Relationships?

This is the sixth post about relationships, sexuality and creator energy. We have learned about past life issues, the biology and energetics of attraction, tribal bonding and security, and our changing sexual operating system. What are some limiting beliefs about relationships? 

What are some limiting beliefs about relationships?

Here are some frequently asked questions with answers from various sources. They may relate to our programming or chakra issues in this or any lifetime on Earth or elsewhere (see What Are the Core Issues Of Humanity? – Big Picture Questions.com).

Do we need to find a soul mate?

This is one of the most limiting belief systems that we’ve been programmed to have: the idea that we are supposed to find our soul mate or twin flame or “the one” in this life to be happy.

  • Helen Fisher (“The Anatomy of Love”) said contemporary singles seek a “soul mate” first and foremost. They want a partner, who is in “perfect harmony” with themselves. If they’re not satisfied with the match, they bail out after the high of infatuation wears off.
  • When one soul is split between two bodies, they are called twin flames. A soul can split between two or more bodies (e.g. twins, triplets). They mirror your flaws, because they have the same flaws, so it can make the relationship more intense and difficult.
  • In reality, true soul mates rarely incarnate in the same geographic area or even the same planet. Why? Because they already know all about each other, since they come from the same True Energetic Self/TES/Oversoul/Higher Self, where all their records are shared.
  • We are more likely to mate with a sympathetic soul who comes from a different TES, that we’ve worked with in other lifetimes. They have a familiar energy signature to us.
  • We make 5-20 mate agreements with many souls before we incarnate, because all of us have free will to live our lives as we please. We may not be available at a pre-planned event space, so we make backup plans with many other souls that serve us just as well.

Herold said it’s time to release all attachments, ideas and expectations about finding a soul mate. You don’t need to find another being to complete you energetically. You are a pure, pristine, beautiful sentient being that always is and has been part of Source and the Origin.

What are some limiting beliefs about relationships?

Are we supposed to be partnered in this lifetime?

This is another outdated belief. We’ve been programmed to believe that we are supposed to partner in life, to procreate and make more “slaves” or get in trouble. But Helen Fisher found a new social phenomenon: large numbers of singles live alone (almost 50% of U.S. adults and even more in Japan, France, Germany, Sweden and other countries). Herold explained:

  • You don’t have to feel bad about not being in a relationship any longer. It’s time to disconnect sex and procreation. It’s time to separate them completely in your operating system, in your ideology and in your understanding of yourself as Source energy.
  • You can see yourself as a creator being as opposed to a sexual being. You can run the joy frequency within and connect energetically with others without expectations around sex or relationships (see Is Our Sexual Operating System Changing? – Big Picture Questions.com).

When you take sex out of the way, you can run the “in love” feeling with as many beings as you want (e.g. friends, animal kingdom, all beings in our world). You are love incarnate.

What are some limiting beliefs about relationships?

If a marriage ends in divorce, is it a failure?

Anthropologist Helen Fisher (“The Anatomy of Love”) has been researching global patterns of courtship, mating, marriage and divorce. She described several interesting findings:

  • Divorce rates peak among couples married just three to four years. This peak has stayed consistent since 1950. In Muslim countries, where arranged first marriages are common, divorce peaks before the first full year of marriage. People tend to bail out pretty fast.
  • The greatest risk of divorce is in people in their late twenties and early thirties at the height of their reproductive and parenting years, even if they have one or two children. Most find new partners in 3-4 years. But couples with four or more children rarely split.
  • Over 50% of all American marriages last for life. Aging couples tend to stay together.

From the soul perspective, a couple may have a karmic/pre-life contract to get married and divorced to learn about issues of intimacy, commitment, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, power struggles, etc. It’s not a failure. Herold said you gave yourself exactly the experience you needed to have with the being that was most available to you at the time. That’s all it is.

Is monogamy natural?

Helen Fisher said we are a monogamous species, because we form pair-bonds to raise our young. Our ancestors used two mating strategies: serial monogamy and clandestine adultery to get extra resources and genes from extra lovers. But some things are changing.

“For the past 10,000 years, marriage was the beginning of a partnership; today it’s the finale. Today’s singles want to know every detail about a potential partner before they tie the knot.” – Helen Fisher

They get into a relationship with a long courtship process (e.g. one-night stands, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and prenups). She said this trend reflects our conflicting appetites to find love and build a partnership, and to seek privacy and autonomy.

Where are we headed?

Nora Herold said most of us have had many lifetimes, where we’ve played every role from the victim to the villain. We may be at peace with a lot of it, but there are some lifetimes, where we were the monsters, where we crossed the line. That’s what we’re trying to heal and change.

This is your soul above the triad of Love, Wisdom and Power.

TLE-Soul copy

Our overall goal is to master the spiritual forces of Love, Wisdom and Power equally. We are learning to do this through our relationships and experiences with other people. For example:

  • Some people are learning about the right use of Love, played through the shadow (low frequency) states of neediness, cold-heartedness, jealousy, permissiveness, or having multiple sex partners to try to force that “in love” connection into their physical reality.
  • Some people are learning about the right use of Wisdom (Truth), expressed as the shadow states of intolerance, mental oppression, judgment, arrogance, deafness to others, manic hunger for experiences, overstimulation, obsessive behaviors, confusion, etc.
  • Others are learning about the right use of Power (Energy), played through various games of dominance, submission, master, slave, superior, inferior, control, manipulation, rage, violence, promiscuity, restlessness, addiction to sex, porn, prostitutes, sex aids, etc.
  • Our life plan has a primary theme, but includes lessons from all three spiritual forces.

Why do we have to do this? By clearing these traumas, we can shift to higher acting behaviors. Richard Rudd said it best: Every shadow contains a gift somewhere. It’s up to us to find it (see How To Dissolve Your Victim Patterns? – Big Picture Questions.com).

Why now?

It’s time for people to shed some old beliefs and accept new facts, because the frequency of Earth and humanity is much higher now than when Jesus, Buddha or other masters lived here. We’re much more expansive now, so we can let go of the old stories of who we think we are.

Nora Herold said that since the end of 2012, we have been deactivating various “implants,” meaning belief systems and programs that have kept us in the 3D game of separation, lack and limitation. As we’re ascending, we’re unplugging these outdated 3D filters and stories.

This is an ongoing process. Everybody is doing it in their own way and at their own pace. For example, we’ve been working on having more self-confidence/empowerment (chakra 3), recognizing our own creator/sexual energy (chakra 2), and safety/security issues (chakra 1).

Final Thoughts

We are all playing out some of these stories with others, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Our goal is to become more self-aware (“Know thyself“). In closing, I’d like to take one last look at I Ching Gate 59 of Sexuality, as described by Richard Rudd:

  • Its shadow (low frequency) state is Dishonesty. It hides a deep distrust of others and a core fear of relationships. It’s keeping something of ourselves hidden from the other.
  • Its gift (higher frequency) state is Intimacy, which happens when two people truly open their hearts and align to become a single awareness. There are many types of intimacy (below).

  • Its divine gift (highest frequency) state is Transparency, which means being open and honest with ourselves and others. It’s the most important piece that allows us to evolve.

In a recent radio interview with Kevin Moore, Guy Needler reminded us:

We are ultimately responsible for everything that we do. When we start to disassociate ourselves from ownership, then we start to perpetuate the need to keep coming back to an incarnate state, to try and clear that level of dysfunctional thinking.

It’s a big responsibility. Experiencing, learning and evolving is a big responsibility, not only for ourselves, but for the bigger part of ourselves, the True Energetic Self, and that bigger part of ourselves that we call Source, and the bigger part of that which is the Origin.” – Guy Needler

What are some limiting beliefs about relationships?

“Stay Light, Be Light, Light the way for others.” – Guy Needler

For more information, please see:

Nora Herold: Nora Herold – Home (website) & Nora Herold – Recorded Workshops and Special Events: Sex, Sexuality, Your Creator Energy & Relationships (January 30, 2016) & Monthly Teleconference (March 1, 2016)

Helen Fisher: Anatomy of Love: A natural history of mating, marriage and why we stray, 2016

Richard Rudd: Gene Keys, 2009 & Gene Keys Network | Living Library (website)

Guy Needler: Home – Guy Steven Needler | The Dawn of a New Age of Science (new website) & 5 books: The History of GodBeyond the Source – Book 1Beyond the Source – Book 2Avoiding Karma, The Origin Speaks, 2015 & The Anne Dialogues – communications with the ascended – YouTube

How To Release Old Limiting Beliefs? – Big Picture Questions.com

How To Reframe Your Life? – Big Picture Questions.com

How To Dissolve Your Victim Patterns? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are Siddhis Or Divine Gifts? – Big Picture Questions.com

Is Our Sexual Operating System Changing? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Supports Tribal Bonding and Security? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are We Attracted To Certain Souls? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are We Attracted To Certain People? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are Some Common Love Issues? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are the Core Issues Of Humanity? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are the Three Spiritual Forces To Master? – Big Picture Questions.com

Is There a Manual On How To Become a Spiritual Master? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is the Purpose of Relationships, Soul Mates and Self-Love? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are People On the Spiritual Path Often Not In Relationships? – Big Picture Questions.com

How Will Spirituality Change Our Sexuality? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are Masculine and Feminine Energies? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are True Soul Mates? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is Human Love vs. Divine Love? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is the Law Of Divine Oneness? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is This Summer Solstice About? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is a Fully Immersed Soul? – Big Picture Questions.com

Russell Brand Talks Sex, Softcore & Hardcore Porn – YouTube

Why I stopped watching porn | Ran Gavrieli | TEDxJaffa – YouTube

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