What Is the Purpose Of Relationships, Soul Mates and Self-Love?

In a previous post, we learned about “human love,” which is quite limited compared to “divine love,” the more expansive state of being that connects your heart/soul with any and all entities in the multiverse. In this post, we’ll take a look at relationships and how they serve us in our evolution and growth on Earth. What is the purpose of relationships, soul mates and self-love?

What is the game in the physical universe?

We are part of a much bigger sentient being, called our True Energetic Self (Oversoul/Higher Self) that sends smaller soul aspects as “probes” to incarnate as many different species (or form factors) at many frequency levels in the physical universe.


“You are universal beings of light first, then you step your vibrations down, incarnate into different star systems, play out a bunch of stories. None of you really are earthlings, just as we are not really Pleiadians – it’s just a costume we’re wearing right now.” – Wendy Kennedy

What is the game of life on Earth?

Wendy Kennedy said that in this dimension, all things are created in trinity, which includes our self, Source and another consciousness. She explained how they work together:

  • Our job is to create and generate a frequency and pulse it out to the universe. The universe/Source then matches that frequency and brings us form.
  • Because the game on Earth is rather dense, we need some help to identify which frequency we’re pulsing out. It needs to be mirrored or reflected back to us by another being, who is attracted to our frequency, because “like attracts like.”

That’s why the game here is structured through attraction and reflection.

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“Everything that you need to know about the programs that are running in your own personal field is reflected back to you through strangers, through loved ones, through co-workers, through enemies.” – Wendy Kennedy

What is the purpose of relationships?

There are many types of pre-incarnation agreements that are planned and arranged with the people we are likely to meet in our lifetime. These agreements are malleable and may be re-written or cancelled as needed by changing circumstances. For example:

  • We make 5-20 mate agreements with different people to make sure one or more of them will work out for short and long-term relationships.
  • There are over 80 different reciprocal contracts, that may or may not be karmic. They are done with the same soul that incarnates with us, but switches positions with us in one or more lifetimes.
The contracts used for specific learning experiences include:
  • Husband-Wife, Parent-Child, Sibling monad, Teacher-Student, Attacker-Victim
  • Leader-Follower, Pivotal-Facilitator, Integrator-Eccentric, Imprinter-Imprinted
  • Healer-Healed, Rescuer-Rescued, Hopelessly Loving-Hopelessly Loved
  • Passive-Aggressive, Passionate-Repressive, Adept-Apprentice, Artist-Patron
  • Deserter-Abandoned, Master-Slave, Player-Pawn, Defender-Defended
  • Slanderer-Slandered, Independent-Dependent, Slovenly-Meticulous
  • Profligate-Temperate, Hidden-Disclosed, Innocent-Sophisticate
  • Promiscuous-Impotent, Jailer-Prisoner, Love monad, Tandem monad, etc.

It is possible to have many contracts with different people in one lifetime, and more than one contract going on with the same person at the same time.

  • All these contracts involve just a handful of issues, including abandonment, separation, safety, security, persecution, manipulation, control and trust.
  • These issues are played out from different perspectives with the vast emotional range that humans can express on Earth (“planet of emotions”) like nowhere else.

What are true soul mates vs. twin flames?

According to Guy Needler, true soul mates are soul aspects that come from the same True Energetic Self/TES. A TES can project up to 12 soul aspects to incarnate at the same time.

  • All those aspects together could be called a soul group. But in reality, true soul mates are are very rarely projected to the same geographic area, so they generally don’t meet.
  • Twin flames arise from one soul/aspect splitting into two bodies in the same or different wombs. They share the same soul, i.e. each twin has one-half of the sentient energies of one soul/aspect.


You are more likely to meet and work with sympathetic souls. They are soul aspects that come from different True Energetic Selves. They have shared many lifetimes together and recognize each other’s energy signature instantly.

Do soul mates and twin flames really matter?

Although soul mates and twin flames exist, the idea of finding them to “complete us” is both misguided and damaging, according to Wendy Kennedy. She explained:

  • If we think there is only ONE person we can truly love, and that we’re missing out if we can’t find them, that program only sets us up for failure and separation from others.
  • In the past, the overall frequency of Earth and humanity was lower, so integration was much slower. We could work on only 4-5 big issues in a lifetime.
  • People lived in small communities and interacted with fewer people, so it took a long time to see the issues reflected back to you, in part because everybody was more “dense.” 😉

In today’s world, soul mates don’t really matter, because we can travel and connect with lots of people via the internet, etc. That’s why this lifetime is unlike any other.

We have set up contracts with many people to clear unresolved issues from other lifetimes. The more relationships we have, the more issues we can process and integrate. She noted:

  • Integration means we’re no longer charged or triggered by an issue, because we see the purpose and cocreative nature of both sides.
  • There are about 100 points of connection that we can work on within a relationship.
  • In most long-term relationships, about 30 points are aligned, so both partners can work on those. In most short-term relationships, 5-10 points can be processed now faster than ever before.

Timing is more challenging now, since everyone is working on their own stuff in layers. Some contracts set up before incarnation may no longer be valid, if person A has already integrated an issue with person B by the time person C shows up as planned. Then person C works with their backup person instead. It all works out!

What are we seeking in a relationship?

According to the Pleiadians, the #1 issue on our planet is lack of self-love. That’s pretty sad given that all our relationships are founded on self-love. We have forgotten this point:

“If you know Love, you know Source, because they are the one and the same. It is already who you are, because you are Love incarnate.” – Wendy Kennedy

When we’re “in love” with a person, we think it’s the other person who is giving us the feelings of love, bliss and joy. In reality, it’s because WE are opening ourselves to feel more Source energy. Kennedy explained:

  • Most of us are looking for more love through our horizontal connections with a romantic partner, rather than through our direct vertical connection to Source, which is an infinite source of divine love.
  • Intimate relationships serve us, because they trigger or bring up issues faster, and allow us to connect and be more open with another being. They add to, but don’t complete or define the experience of love.
  • The love of your life is YOU. It’s your job to connect with the divine love within, which is a range of frequencies, a more intense state of being, not a single note.

We are also learning that we’re not just an individuated consciousness, but part of a much larger collective.

“Love is a very poor way in words to describe how we feel, when we are experiencing collectivity or oneness, whether there are 2 individuals or 10, 20, 30 or 100 or 5,000. It’s this knowingness that we are One together.” – Guy Needler

What is your love quotient?

The measure of success is not about how much money, material trappings or achievements we can get, but how much LOVE and JOY we have in our life. This is what the Pleiadians call the “love quotient.” How’s your LQ?

“It’s about you and your connection to Source. Once you connect more with Source energy within yourself, you will be able to have divine connections with absolutely everyone and everything.” – Wendy Kennedy

what is the purpose of relationships

For more information, please see:

Is Our Sexual Operating System Changing? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are We Attracted To Certain Souls? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are We Attracted To Certain People? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are Some Common Love Issues? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is Spiritual Bypassing? – Big Picture Questions.com

Where Do Human and Other Souls Come From? – Big Picture Questions.com

How Does Reincarnation Work? – Big Picture Questions.com

Why Are People On the Spiritual Path Often Not In Relationships? – Big Picture Questions.com

How Will Spirituality Change Our Sexuality? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is Human Love vs. Divine Love? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is the Law Of Divine Oneness? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Are True Soul Mates? – Big Picture Questions.com

How Are Humans Teaching the Universe About Compassion? – Big Picture Questions.com

What Is Universal Motherhood? – Big Picture Questions.com

Guy Needler: Home – Guy Steven Needler | The Dawn of a New Age of Science (new website), World Satsanga Teleconference (November 24, 2012), What is a Soul Mate | Guy Steven Needler & What is a Soul Mate – The Energetic Explanation | Guy Steven Needler & 2015 Guy Steven Needler What We Are – How We Incarnate

Wendy Kennedy: Home – Higher Frequencies & Tom Kenyon & Wendy Kennedy: The Great Human Potential: Walking in One’s Own Light, 2013 higherfrequencies.net/product/the-great-human-potential-walking-in-ones-own-light/ & higherfrequencies.net/product/the-love-of-your-lifeis-you/, February 24, 2013

Aaron Christeaan et al.: Michael: The Basic Teachings, 1988 & Dave Gregg: Agreements & External Monads

Shepherd Hoodwin: Task Companions | Michael Teachings

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